


the piece of me that wants you

by wordlocker



Series: every vixx pairing [12]
Category: K-pop, VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-23 23:07:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6133275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordlocker/pseuds/wordlocker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>aspiring actor han sanghyuk gets a job as famous movie star and renowned musical actor lee jaehwan’s personal assistant’s assistant. almost nothing goes the way he expected it to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the piece of me that wants you

If anyone asks, Sanghyuk will say, unsarcastically and all, that Lee Jaehwan is beautiful. In certain lights and angle, he’s downright ethereal – almost surreal. Sanghyuk is still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he gets to breathe the same air as the famous actor, talk to (well, maybe that’s a stretch – get orders from?) him on a daily basis. Even his best friend still thinks he’s joking about landing the job as Jaehwan’s personal assistant’s assistant. 

 

As a person, Lee Jaehwan is, unequivocally an asshole.

 

As a fan (he really _is_ a phenomenal actor), Sanghyuk’d wished the clichéd rumor wasn’t entirely true. Sure, Jaehwan doesn’t exactly go around screaming at the filming crew or smacking the hair stylist with a magazine whenever the water temperature isn’t perfectly tepid, so it’s not the whole truth. Instead, Jaehwan’s terrible in the silent way – his cockiness quiet, aloof enough to secure his advantages, and somewhat emotionally manipulative. 

 

“Hey, kiddo. Give me a hand, here.”

 

Sanghyuk sighs and turns away from the lousy cup of coffee he’s been working on for the past few minutes. Jaehwan’s standing just at the edge of the living room, eyebrow and hip cocked primly as he idly adjusts the silver cufflinks at his wrists. His tie is draped over his neck, untied, waiting for Sanghyuk to fix it.

 

He steps up close, tugging on the ends of the silk, hyper aware of the weight of Jaehwan’s gaze on him. He tries not to, but his eyes flick upwards anyway, and Jaehwan pins him with a calculating look, like he’s sizing up Sanghyuk for something. Sanghyuk doesn’t let it deter him, deftly knotting the tie and tugging it tight, ignoring both Jaehwan’s stare and his own pounding heart.

 

“Thank you,” Jaehwan says, almost softly, when Sanghyuk steps back. It’s still dizzying for Sanghyuk, even after two months, whenever Jaehwan uses this tone with him. If he thinks about it hard enough, he’ll realize that it’s unlike any other Jaehwan’s used with other people, almost like he reserves – no, came up with it especially for Sanghyuk. 

 

“You’re welcome,” Sanghyuk replies, perfectly monotonous. 

 

It’s enough to make the bite in Jaehwan’s voice comes back. “Have you seen Hakyeon? That idiot is supposed to brief me about this stupid meeting.”

 

Sanghyuk grimaces when Hakyeon breezes in from the foyer, one hand holding a cup of coffee and the other his phone. Sanghyuk thinks it’s the only reason his palm hasn’t connected with the back of Jaehwan’s head already. He doesn’t even look up from his screen to admonish Jaehwan. “For one thing, fucking censor yourself when you’re meeting with the director, you dumbass.”

 

Jaehwan sniffs, turning his nose up as he adjusts the already immaculate collar of his suit jacket. “What? Like you? Nice language.”

 

“I’m your manager,” Hakyeon retorts, glaring at Jaehwan from beneath his lashes, thumb still swiping across his phone. “It’s not my job to mind my mouth in front of the media. Yours is.”

 

That draws a long suffering sigh out of Jaehwan, and Sanghyuk can see Hakyeon rolling his eyes even with his gaze downcast. “Let’s get a move on, then. Don’t want to keep the greasy old man waiting.”

 

Hakyeon doesn’t let that one slip, the smack resounding rather loudly in the massive loft apartment.

 

.

 

Sanghyuk doesn’t have to be at the meeting with them, which is just fine by him, because it gives him the time to pretend to organize the scripts on Jaehwan’s desk at the company (he finished that task last night) while actually checking his emails for any indication that he’s been called for a second audition. 

 

There’s only a short one from his dad, asking him how he’s doing, and Sanghyuk forces himself to reply immediately, making sure it’s vaguely positive. A shadow looms over him just as he clicks send, and Sanghyuk looks up to see one of the more rookie actresses smiling at him. He remembers seeing her getting a coffee at the shop right downstairs, nodding at him in acknowledgement before leaving.

 

“Hi,” she says timidly. “Do you happen to know if Jaehwan sunbaenim is going to drop by today?”

 

Sanghyuk dredges up the day’s schedule he’d taken the time to learn last night and shakes his head. “I don’t think so.”

 

She looks crestfallen, and suddenly Sanghyuk remembers seeing her in the lobby of Jaehwan’s apartment building, too, covered up in a scarf and oversized sunglasses. She thanks him quietly and walks away, her sweet perfume trailing after her.

 

It’s four hours before Sanghyuk is graced by Jaehwan’s presence once again. He’s waiting for his scene to be set up, legs crossed and face tilted to the ceiling like he’s basking in the artificial light. He’s stripped out of his suit and is currently wearing a large cornflower blue sweater that makes him look vulnerable – but not small, _never_ small. 

 

“Miss Hyein asked for you when I was at the office earlier,” Sanghyuk informs him.

 

Jaehwan’s eyes slide open slowly, and he groans as soon as he recalls the name. “What does she want?”

 

Sanghyuk shrugs, stuffing his head into the snapback he manages to grab from his backpack. Jaehwan stares at him in anticipation. “She just wanted to know if you’re dropping by the company today.”

 

“A word of advice, Sanghyuk,” Jaehwan says sagely, reaching out to press his fingertips against the flat of Sanghyuk’s belly. “Do not bang someone if your gut tells you they’re the clingy type. No matter how much they beg.”

 

Sanghyuk steps back, out of reach. “Okay.”

 

Jaehwan’s eyes narrow, the brown of them brilliant under the lighting. “Do you even _fuck_ , Sanghyukie? You look like you could see a pair of innocent boobs and faint.”

 

Sanghyuk considers a sharp rebuttal, but decides to shrug instead. He can tell that it’s pissing Jaehwan off that he’s so unaffected by his silly jabs. It’s probably detrimental to his career (or whatever he supposes this job is), but technically his superior is Hakyeon, and technically he’s hired by the company, which makes Jaehwan less his boss than a work assignment.

 

The tip of Jaehwan’s ears color, but he doesn’t say anything, and soon enough he’s being called by the director. Sanghyuk watches him leave with that careful strut he uses at work, not to be mistaken for his _on the prowl_ swagger or the careless waddle he sometimes forget to conceal when he’s at home. 

 

“Did he fuck up any while I was gone?”

 

Sanghyuk’s conditioned to Hakyeon’s ability to appear like a ghost when you least expects him to as well as his choice of vocabulary. “Nope,” he says, popping his ‘p’, shaking his head. 

 

Hakyeon grunts, taking his eyes off Jaehwan’s figure across the studio and settling them on Sanghyuk instead. “Any bites lately?”

 

Sanghyuk can’t help but sigh. “Nothing yet. Maybe I supremely sucked at all the auditions, I don’t know.”

 

“Maybe,” Hakyeon says bluntly, jutting his bottom lip out. “Or maybe they were just not looking for someone like you. It happens. You’ll get there.”

 

Sanghyuk’s used to hear that from everyone around him – his parents, the acting coach at the academy, his friends. It gets to be annoying after a while, even hurts a little. “I should’ve gone into dance,” he groans, taking off his hat to ruffle his hair.

 

Hakyeon slits him a flat glare. “Yeah, because _those_ auditions are always a walk in the fucking park.”

 

Sanghyuk winces. He often forgets how Hakyeon’s based in dance and had to give his art up and technically be a glorified babysitter for an egotistical movie star for failing too many auditions to count. “Sorry, hyung. I didn’t really mean that.”

 

Hakyeon whacks him on his shoulder, a sign of forgiveness if he ever shows any. “Hang in there, Sanghyuk. You know, my offer still stands. I can totally talk to the company into maybe seeing you for a spot on our actors list.”

 

Sanghyuk’s shaking his head even before Hakyeon’s finished. “Nah, hyung. Thanks, but that wouldn’t feel right.”

 

“The least they could do for sticking you next to a dickhead actor with an overblown ego is to see you do a monologue, I think,” Hakyeon scoffs. “But suit yourself.”

 

Jaehwan comes sauntering by, as if he heard, a smile so predatory he looks like an extremely attractive shark. “They’re cutting my scenes down to three,” he announces, pleased. “Which means I’ll be able to get out of here before midnight.”

 

“Something tells me you’re not excited about going back home to finish knitting a scarf for your mom,” Hakyeon deadpans.

 

“Hah. I finished that scarf last winter, you moron,” Jaehwan shoots back. It’s quite difficult to figure out whether or not he’s kidding. “Do you have uh – Hyein? Yeah, do you have Hyein’s number, hyung? Or her manager’s or whatever?”

 

Hakyeon’s pursing his lips so hard they’ve disappeared. “I told you, Jaehwan. You can’t be fucking around with people from the company. It’s just going to get messy.”

 

“I don’t mind a little mess,” Jaehwan smirks, winking at Sanghyuk for no apparent reason. “And as I recall, neither does she.”

 

Hakyeon doesn’t budge, and Sanghyuk tries to busy himself with the miscellaneous crap scattered all around them, avoiding eye contact.

 

“Oh, c’mon,” Jaehwan gripes, holding his hand out at Hakyeon. “She wants to see me. I’m just being a good senior and fulfilling her needs.”

 

Hakyeon looks to the ceiling and groans in frustration, but he’s already scrolling through the contacts on his phone before he even looks back down. The self-satisfied grin on Jaehwan’s lips makes Sanghyuk snort, and if Jaehwan hears him, he doesn’t show it.

 

.

 

It’s all well and predictable until Hakyeon sends him to hand deliver a stack of potential scripts off at Jaehwan’s apartment one Sunday morning. Sanghyuk has the passcode, but he has a feeling he shouldn’t be barging in when he knows for certain Jaehwan’s schedule is free and that he might be home resting – or worse, _not_. The doorbell echoes and Sanghyuk hums to the familiar melody only to abruptly stop when the door cracks open and it’s not Jaehwan staring at him. Sanghyuk’s flustered enough to do the stupid thing he always sees in a comedic scene where a person checks the house number to see if they’re mistaken. He’s not.

 

“Uh,” he says, trying not to stare back at the expanse of chest beneath the thin t-shirt (because this dude is _tall_ ) and failing a little bit. The guy doesn’t seem fazed. “Hello?”

 

“Come in, Sanghyuk,” comes Jaehwan’s signature voice from behind the stranger, raspy with sleep.

 

Sanghyuk bows a little at the guy in the doorway and slips inside, clutching the scripts to his chest like a shield. Jaehwan’s in a pair of his sleeping shorts, shirt wrinkled and hair rumpled and soft. He looks, for lack of a better term, well fucked. Sanghyuk hands him the scripts wordlessly, figuring that Hakyeon would have informed Jaehwan about why he’s here. He takes them and dumps everything on the overstuffed couch next to him.

 

“Looks like you’re busy,” the guy says, almost nonchalantly. “I’ll get going, then.”

 

Jaehwan beams at him, slick and practiced, and doesn’t even bother showing him out. “Sure,” he calls out from the living room. “See you around.”

 

The guy doesn’t seem to mind the blatant brush-off, and somehow Sanghyuk’s gaze lands on the smattering of marks at the base of Jaehwan’s graceful neck all across his collarbones and disappearing into his Led Zeppelin t-shirt. “Did you – is he—”

 

Jaehwan’s eyes roll up from where he’s reading one of the screenplays Sanghyuk’s brought over, eyebrow arched perfectly. “I think he was in that summer movie I was in,” he says airily. “I think I let him fuck me then, too.”

 

Sanghyuk often finds himself choking on his own spit since he started working for Jaehwan. “You – with guys – I didn’t know you—”

 

The sweep of Jaehwan’s gaze down the length of his body can’t possibly be anything but deliberate. “Oh, _yes_.”

 

“Okay,” Sanghyuk chokes, his voice breaking for the first time since he was thirteen. “I’ll take off now. If you don’t need anything else.”

 

“Stay,” Jaehwan says, soft yet commanding. “If you go back to the office Hakyeon will just make you do work, and I’ll be bored out of my skull.”

 

“Um,” Sanghyuk says intelligently. “That’s kind of my job? To do work?”

 

Jaehwan sighs exasperatedly. “Then stay and read some lines for me. That enough work for you?”

 

Sanghyuk hesitates for about three seconds, just to consider whether or not he has invested enough sleep to be facing public transport into the heart of Gangnam on a Sunday. Jaehwan’s smirking at him even before he says yes. 

 

.

 

Sanghyuk starts shy, but as time passes by and pages are turned, he grows looser and looser until the little actor he’s been cultivating in years of acting classes takes over completely. They’re pretty good together, too, bouncing energy and emotions off each other like it’s second nature. They get through all the screenplays in the pile by mid-afternoon, Sanghyuk relishing in the way Jaehwan allows him his opinions about the story arc and the characterization, even noting some down to be discussed further with the company later.

 

“You’re really good,” Jaehwan says, as they take a break for some food. Sanghyuk doesn’t choke on his spit, but the chicken morsel he’d clenched with his chopsticks fly across the coffee table embarrassingly. “Hakyeon told me you want to act.”

 

“Want to, being the operative words,” Sanghyuk sighs, nibbling on the end of his chopsticks absently.

 

Jaehwan looks at him intently, dark eyes pinning him in place. “I know it’s hard at first, but you should take your time. You’re honestly good, so it probably wouldn’t be too long.”

 

Sanghyuk scoffs. “That’s what people have been telling me. That it’s going to happen. But when?”

 

“Well, take it from somebody who’s been there,” Jaehwan says, voice pitched low and serious. “It won’t do you any good to blow up on screen overnight and fizzle out just as quickly anyway. Pick your auditions, and when those go well, pick your projects. You can always afford to be picky. I wish somebody would have told me that years ago.”

 

Sanghyuk purses his lips. “How long should I wait, though?”

 

Across the table, Jaehwan’s bottom lip is stained with dark red sauce. “You’ll know when it happens. You always have to bide your time for something good. If it’s worth it, there’s no use pouncing on it when you know the wait will make it even sweeter.”

 

Somehow Sanghyuk feels like they’re not talking about acting anymore. Sanghyuk stares as Jaehwan’s tongue swipes out to clean his mouth, helplessly transfixed. 

 

.

 

When Jaehwan _does_ pounce, it’s when they’re far away from home. Jaehwan’s movie brings them to Sapporo, and Sanghyuk finds himself lugging both his and Jaehwan’s suitcases through the airport while cameras flash from every direction, nearly blinding him. They reach a little nook before being out in the open again and Sanghyuk almost crashes into Jaehwan’s back when he abruptly stops.

 

Sanghyuk blinks and watches dazedly as Jaehwan reaches into his carry on and fishes out a pair of sunglasses which he slips onto Sanghyuk’s face, a smug smile curling his mouth. “Better get used to all the bright lights, superstar.”

 

Sanghyuk can’t exactly see Jaehwan’s eyes from behind the dark lenses he’s wearing himself, but his tone of voice is somewhat new, less condescending and more playful. They survive the airport mob and are whisked away to the hotel in a freaking limo that makes Sanghyuk’s jaw drop. Jaehwan doesn’t tease him, then, or even when he gapes at the place they’re staying in. Jaehwan points him to an attached room in the suite, telling him to rest up for the night, and Sanghyuk rolls his luggage as his eyes roam around to take in all the luxury.

 

Unsurprisingly, the shower is beyond amazing. Sanghyuk moans when the jet of hot water hits his back with perfect pressure, lathering the bamboo green tea shampoo into his hair and tipping his head up into the stream. It probably takes him the longest to finish since he’d first discovered the art of jerking off in the bathroom in middle school. He dabs haphazardly at his head and torso before wrapping the towel around his waist and walking out, leaving the steam behind.

 

Jaehwan whistles appreciatively at him from the bed, tongue peeking out from between his teeth. “Damn, I knew you’d be ripped.”

 

Sanghyuk’s hand automatically grips the edge of his towel, and he almost uses his free arm to cover his chest, but decides against it at the last minute, not wanting to appear stupidly demure. Water’s still dotting his skin, though, the cold breeze turning his nipples into pebbled tips, and Jaehwan just wouldn’t stop _staring_. “Can I help you with something?”

 

For a split second Jaehwan’s breath hitches, something heated flashing in his eyes, and then it’s gone. “You really should be careful about locking your door, kiddo,” he says, standing to meet Sanghyuk. “Anybody could’ve walked in here and find you like this.”

 

“You’re not—” Sanghyuk gulps, helplessly looking down at Jaehwan’s long fingers curling around the hand that’s holding his towel.

 

“I’m not,” Jaehwan whispers across the small space between their mouths. “You would let me in, won’t you, Sanghyuk-ah?” 

 

“What are you—” Sanghyuk stutters, cursing his inability to finish his sentences. Jaehwan isn’t exactly caging him in, what with being smaller than Sanghyuk and all, so him not moving away or kicking Jaehwan’s ass is pretty telling. “What do you want?”

 

Jaehwan makes a tiny noise before stretching up to mouth at the jut of Sanghyuk’s jaw. “I want to taste you, baby. Can I, pretty please, suck you off?”

 

Sanghyuk’s heart rattles in his chest, and he’s nodding even before it fully registers. Jaehwan touches him, then, pawing at him through the folds in his towel. The sharp intake of breath and tentative touch around his length make him dizzy, and Sanghyuk stumbles back into the bed, thighs splayed open. Jaehwan’s brows creased as he kneels right between them, teeth worrying his bottom lip as he gives Sanghyuk a look that’s a cross between admiration and lust.

 

His towel is flung away in an instant, and Jaehwan’s grip around his dick tightens. “You’re so big and pretty,” Jaehwan murmurs, and Sanghyuk’s face burns hot in shame. “Figured your cock would be so, too.”

 

Sanghyuk isn’t allowed the time to think about what’s been said, because Jaehwan’s gorgeous lips are wrapped around the head of his dick and Sanghyuk watches in fascination as he sinks down on it, inch by inch. All the past blowjobs he’s received (not that there’s many) blur together into a giant blob of mediocre in the face of this perfect heat and suction, Jaehwan working him over enthusiastically and spectacularly. He’s never seen this look on Jaehwan’s face before, not even on screen, and it’s so dangerously daunting that Sanghyuk has to shut his eyes.

 

“Look at me, sweetheart,” Jaehwan rasps, and Sanghyuk doesn’t want to think about how it’s from Jaehwan deepthroating him. “Want you to come in my mouth.”

 

Sanghyuk’s eyes flutter open traitorously, and the sight of his cock lodged deeply in Jaehwan as he swallows around the head is enough. He yanks at Jaehwan’s hair so he wouldn’t choke on it, and Jaehwan moans and gratefully suckles at the tip as he comes and comes endlessly. Jaehwan leans back and kittenishly wipes his lips with the back of his hand, eyes bright and alive. He chuckles at the way Sanghyuk’s trembling, nuzzling into the softness of his inner thigh, playfully nipping at it.

 

And then he’s back on his feet, flashing that devastatingly handsome grin at Sanghyuk. “Sleep well, kiddo. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

It takes Sanghyuk long minutes to recover, staring at his spent dick as if he can see the imprint of Jaehwan’s mouth on it. The mere thought of those luscious lips makes it twitch, and Sanghyuk jumps back into the shower, adjusting the water to the coldest he can stand without becoming hypothermic. 

 

All he thinks about is how Jaehwan doesn’t even kiss him.

 

.

 

Jaehwan does, eventually, kiss him. Two days later, as they lay sprawled on the massive bed in the same hotel suite, the sheets smelling less like the generic detergent hotels use and more like Jaehwan’s body wash. As it is, however, Sanghyuk can’t be sure if Jaehwan’s just kissing him so Sanghyuk will agree to, as he so eloquently puts it: _fuck me fuck me now oh god Sanghyuk_.

 

Jaehwan’s needy noises are turning Sanghyuk on so much he can’t even breathe properly anymore, hips knocking against Jaehwan’s shapely ass in an uncoordinated rhythm. Jaehwan doesn’t seem to mind at all, fucking back into his thrusts, mumbling _c’mon, baby yes just like that fuck fuck fuck_ over and over. Sanghyuk lets his hand fall from Jaehwan’s hip and he snatches it right up, Sanghyuk nearly toppling over, and stuffs two of the fingers into his mouth. Sanghyuk groans and his thrusts stutter as Jaehwan sucks on him needily, ass rolling to meet his cock.

 

Sanghyuk comes looking at the rivulet of sweat in the lovely dip of Jaehwan’s spine, eyes clenched shut around the sensation, Jaehwan’s encouraging moans roaring in his ears. He’s just about to pull out when Jaehwan tells him to keep going, Sanghyuk’s spit drenched fingers escaping his lips with an obscene pop. Jaehwan reclaims his hand when he starts thrusting again, and Sanghyuk gasps when he pushes the slicked fingers right against his perineum, guiding it back to where Sanghyuk’s entering him. Jaehwan’s pretty eyes meet Sanghyuk’s over his shoulder, begging him for release, so Sanghyuk presses inside.

 

Jaehwan comes with a voiceless shout, body jerking like it’s hurting him, Sanghyuk’s touch to the smooth plane of his back making him crumble to the sheets, what sounds like a litany of Sanghyuk’s name muffled into the pillows. Sanghyuk leaves to take care of the condom and bring back a warm washcloth, contemplating whether to stay. Jaehwan blinks at him with large eyes and silently asks Sanghyuk to clean him up, taking the decision out of his hands when he drags Sanghyuk back under the covers, settling against his back.

 

“Are you sure about this?” Sanghyuk asks cautiously, not even knowing if he means cuddling like this or the entire thing they’re doing.

 

Jaehwan’s already dozing off when he turns to look, face slack and mouth swollen from kissing. He looks absolutely breathtaking, and not for the first time Sanghyuk fears that he’s reaching out for a star that’s just too high up, waiting for gravity to pull him crashing back down.

 

.

 

Hakyeon finds out. Because not only does he appear like a ghost, he also happens to somehow _know things_ just like one. Nothing Jaehwan or Sanghyuk do is suspicious, Jaehwan doesn’t exactly sneak kisses or grope Sanghyuk with every chance he gets (contrary to Sanghyuk’s over imaginative and possibly delusional expectations). They’re even talking the way they used to – only when necessary and for basic communication.

 

And yet, when Jaehwan surrenders to his bathroom in the suite after his last filming day in Japan, Hakyeon ushers Sanghyuk out onto the balcony and pins him with a knowing look. 

 

“How did it happen?” Hakyeon asks, before adding in a rush, “And spare me the dirty details, please.”

 

Sanghyuk shrugs, slow and deliberate. “It just – happened. I don’t think it’s anything serious.”

 

Hakyeon sighs, rubbing at his temples with his thumbs. Sanghyuk expects him to say something about how it’s dangerous for Jaehwan’s career, if word gets out, or how Sanghyuk might distract him from his work, but he says neither of those things. “Just – be careful, okay? Jaehwan’s not an idiot, but he loses his head when it’s like this – when it actually matters to him. And you – you’re a good kid. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

 

Sanghyuk refuses to think hard about what that means, so he nods compliantly and walks back inside just in time for Jaehwan to tell him to order some room service for dinner.

 

.

 

His first call for audition in months arrives a few days after Japan – which probably should have told him something. As it is, Sanghyuk nearly scream in joy as they give him a date and time, rushing straight to the office to let Hakyeon know and beg him for a day off.

 

“Hey,” Hakyeon exclaims, smiling widely and patting him on the shoulder. “That’s awesome news! Which company did you say it was?”

 

Sanghyuk has to think about it for a moment, because in the midst of his excitement he’d almost forget. “Uh, LR? I don’t think it’s a particularly huge one.”

 

Hakyeon blinks, and Sanghyuk almost misses the way his eyebrow twitches at the name. “Oh,” he says, expression perfectly schooled. “It’s a good company. Hongbin is in it.”

 

Sanghyuk’s eyebrows shoot up. The company may be small, but Lee Hongbin is certainly a big name. He’s also sort of friends with Jaehwan, and the handful of times they’ve met Hongbin has been perfectly warm and nice to him. At least he knows he’ll have a friendly face to turn to. Hakyeon tells him it’s fine to take the day off, then shoots a pointed look at Jaehwan from across the room.

 

Jaehwan tilts his chin up but doesn’t respond, and Sanghyuk wonders idly if this would mean their days together (professional or otherwise) are numbered. The thought actually stings, and Sanghyuk curses himself for letting it go this far, but there’s not much else he can do at this point, so he decides to hold on for a tiny bit longer. Then he’ll simply be on the list of people Jaehwan conquered and forgotten.

 

Sanghyuk ignores the twinge in his ribcage.

 

.

 

Jaehwan actually invites him out for dinner with his friends and Sanghyuk’s too far gone to refuse spending what little time he has with him. It’s in a barbecue restaurant that Sanghyuk’s never been to – and he’d never imagine Jaehwan being in – and his friends happen to be Hongbin and an underground rapper named Wonshik. They welcome Sanghyuk into the fold with much enthusiasm, and it isn’t long until Sanghyuk’s comfortable enough to laugh and joke with them, especially when old war stories about pre-debut Jaehwan are brought to surface.

 

“I can’t believe you used to do mosquito noises for your auditions,” Hongbin laughs, loud and unabashed, dimples pressing deep as he leans back in his seat.

 

Jaehwan smirks, cocking an eyebrow. “Hey, I’m here now, aren’t I?”

 

“You’re lucky you’re so amazing at singing, hyung,” Hongbin says, remnants of laughter still in his voice. “All those musicals really boosted you up.”

 

Jaehwan’s brown eyes glint dangerously, and a corner of his mouth lifts very slowly. “Is that any way to talk to the person who took your virginity, Hongbinnie?”

 

Sanghyuk chokes on his water just as Wonshik groans loudly from across the table. Sanghyuk’s eyes water from coughing but he sees the clearly horrified expression on Hongbin’s face.

 

“Ah, _hyung_ ,” Hongbin sputters, eyes wide. “You can’t just blurt that out!”

 

“Why not?” Jaehwan grins, and Sanghyuk feels a palm inching up the inseam of his jeans, fondling him underneath the table. “We’re in the company of friends, here.”

 

Hongbin rolls his eyes in defeat, and Wonshik scoffs around the rim of his shot glass. “It’s because you’re a supreme asshole I’m not at all jealous about your stupid friends with benefit history.”

 

Sanghyuk suddenly notices the way Hongbin and Wonshik are pressed close at the seams, the familiar way Hongbin reaches up to stroke Wonshik’s back when he pouts into his soju.

 

“Oh, come on,” Jaehwan wheedles. “That was ages ago. Binnie was an innocent little flower and I was the semi-innocent little bee. You guys are incredible together. Three cheers for true love and all that jazz.”

 

Sanghyuk can tell Wonshik isn’t genuinely upset, and when Jaehwan clinks their glasses together he accepts the drink with a smile on his handsome face. Jaehwan grins up at Sanghyuk afterwards, and it’s so amazingly wonderful Sanghyuk’s heart skips a beat.

 

.

 

When they first stumble into Jaehwan’s apartment in a mess of kisses and fumbling hands, Sanghyuk expects the same old thing. He should’ve known that Jaehwan is nothing if not full of surprises. 

 

“Can I fuck you tonight, baby?” he asks, so very gently that Sanghyuk almost agrees right there on his doorstep. “Oh, please, Sanghyukie?”

 

He doesn’t know how or when, but somewhere along the way Sanghyuk’s decided that his favorite thing in the whole world is the way his name rolls off Jaehwan’s tongue, that lovely honeyed tone shaping it into something exquisite. Sanghyuk shivers and steps away, staggering a little at the fervent look on Jaehwan’s face. He barely registers himself nodding, Jaehwan’s lips parting in disbelief, then he’s being ushered into the bedroom as clothes are strewn along the way.

 

The back of Sanghyuk’s knees crash into the massive bed and he plops onto it, Jaehwan’s lips still attached to his, breathing moans into his mouth. Jaehwan’s quick to rid him of his jeans, mouthing at the hard line of his dick through his underwear, rendering Sanghyuk wild with lust. Pretty soon his briefs are gone, too, and Jaehwan holds him in a loose fist, jacking slowly and teasingly. Sanghyuk groans, falling onto his back just as Jaehwan starts trailing kisses up his length, sucking softly at the tip. Jaehwan swallows him down in one fluid move, and Sanghyuk’s hips stutter, one hand shooting out to tangle in Jaehwan’s hair. Jaehwan moans when he tugs, making the mistake of sitting up to watch. He almost comes at the sight of those plush lips stretched around his girth, Jaehwan’s cheeks flushed with pleasure as he sucks Sanghyuk off with single-minded focus. 

 

Sanghyuk pushes gently at Jaehwan’s shoulder and he pulls off, spit and precome smeared all over his mouth, staring at Sanghyuk imploringly through his eyelashes. Sanghyuk strokes his hair and Jaehwan’s eyes flutter closed. He arranges Sanghyuk’s legs so they’re bent at the knees, spreading him open, and Sanghyuk shivers in anticipation. The first press of lips to the soft inside of his thigh makes Sanghyuk sigh, and he keeps hold of Jaehwan’s hair, petting him wordlessly. Jaehwan licks across his entrance so suddenly Sanghyuk bucks, nearly braining Jaehwan. He fully expects Jaehwan to abort mission, but he just makes a gentle, soothing noise and keeps rimming him, until Sanghyuk’s squirming with the intense combination of want and shame. Jaehwan kisses his dick again before climbing up his body, aiming for another kiss.

 

Sanghyuk’s too wound up to even think about where Jaehwan’s mouth has been, and the slow, deep kiss is robbing him of his thoughts completely. Jaehwan breathes out against his cheek, shaky and desperate, then asks quietly if it’s okay to go on. Sanghyuk nods and whimpers a little when Jaehwan fingers him open, stopping for a few seconds to slick them both up with lube. When he’s sure that Sanghyuk is ready, he lines up and presses in, biting his bottom lip in concentration. Sanghyuk trembles at the stretch and tries not to let it show how new this is to him. When he’s fully inside, Jaehwan pauses to look at him, and the tender look in his eyes makes Sanghyuk wonder if Jaehwan knows it’s his first time getting fucked.

 

Jaehwan dips to kiss him again, short and wet, before pressing his face into the crook of Sanghyuk’s neck, still keeping himself motionless. “You’re so – _so_ , god, _Sanghyuk_.”

 

Sanghyuk doesn’t think about the break in Jaehwan’s voice, rolling his hips a little to get Jaehwan to move, and he complies immediately. The feeling of fullness is something he anticipates, but the perfect way Jaehwan’s cock fills him is a pleasant surprise, and Sanghyuk finds himself responding eagerly. “Fuck, that’s – yeah, oh, fuck.” 

 

Sweat is dribbling down Jaehwan’s face down his neck, and his eyes never leave Sanghyuk’s face, hips rocking rhythmically against him. Sanghyuk arches to meet his thrust and Jaehwan keens, flopping over him, mouth pressed to his chest. “Fuck, _baby_. You’re – god, so perfect – I’m – want you so much, you don’t even know.”

 

The new angle causes Jaehwan’s dick to brush against his sweet spot, and Sanghyuk gasps, thighs clenching around Jaehwan’s hips. “Ah, _hyung_.”

 

The term of endearment makes Jaehwan sob, and he’s picking up speed, curling long fingers around Sanghyuk’s cock to jerk him off. Sanghyuk’s climax hits him out of nowhere, fingers digging unconsciously into Jaehwan’s sides as he shakes apart. The force of it leaves him trembling, and Jaehwan kisses him comfortingly, over and over, until he comes, too. Sanghyuk holds him close as he cries out, mewls pressed into the corner of Sanghyuk’s lips. Sanghyuk’s hazy eyes meet his and there’s something so reverent in the way Jaehwan looks at him that he has to look away, whining a little with oversensitivity.

 

Jaehwan apologizes tenderly, almost inaudible, and disappears to get rid of the condom and reappears to wipe him down, every move drawn out and careful. They make out for a long while, after, Jaehwan brushing his hair back and worshipping his skin with slow kisses and mapping fingers. Sanghyuk thinks something has changed between them, and the soft, fluttery newness of it is fast spreading into something _more_. He figures he should be afraid of it, but as Jaehwan bids him goodnight in that particular tone he only uses when they’re alone, Sanghyuk lets the feeling uncoil and take flight.

 

.

 

The worst audition Sanghyuk has ever been in is probably the one from nearly a year ago. It’s for a semi-large company with actors and idols on its payroll, and they clearly had a person in mind already when Sanghyuk walked in. None of the people in the room were even paying half an attention to what he was doing the whole time. He could’ve danced the Macarena (which he’s admittedly awesome at) and they wouldn’t have noticed.

 

LR’s office is swanky without being obnoxious, the whole space decorated in black and red and pleasantly comfy. He’s handed a material that he immediately goes through, praying (always praying) that this time wouldn’t be as bad as last year’s audition. He’s the only one in the waiting room, and although it isn’t _that_ rare, it’s still unnerving.

 

He’s made to wait about ten minutes – which gave him time to pretty much memorize the lines provided – before his name is called. The lady ushers him towards a room with a glass door, Studio C, and leaves him to walk in by himself. Sanghyuk knocks lightly and pushes the door open.

 

There’s only two people at the table before him and Sanghyuk’s eyes slowly scans the dark hair, feline eyes and quiet smile before sliding over and meeting familiar shock of silver hair and dopey grin. The material in his hand trembles.

 

“Hello,” Wonshik says brightly. “We’re ready whenever you are, Sanghyuk.”

 

He doesn’t even need to look at Sanghyuk’s profile to say his name. Of course he doesn’t. They spent hours having dinner and drinking together the other day. Jaehwan’s raucous laughter keeps ringing inside Sanghyuk’s ears.

 

He almost turns away – _almost_. He pauses long enough for Wonshik’s grin to fade, his brows furrowing slightly. But Sanghyuk clears his throat, looks straight at the camera, and delivers his lines as flawlessly as he can manage. Judging by the silent impressed looks exchanged before him, he thinks he probably nailed it. Yet, as he thanks them both for their time and steps out into the hallway, he’s anything but happy.

 

Composing himself with a deep breath, he searches for the men’s room and barricades himself inside. The water splashes cold against his face, and Sanghyuk blinks through it, a mix of anger and confusion coursing through his veins. When he lifts his head, he’s looking at Wonshik’s reflection in the mirror.

 

“He didn’t tell you it was my company, did he?”

 

Sanghyuk scoffs derisively. “No, he seems to have neglected to let me know.”

 

And even then, Sanghyuk partly blames himself, for getting caught up in the excitement of getting an audition and completely forgetting to look into the company’s background. Jaehwan got him there. He was stupid enough to walk into this.

 

Wonshik sighs, running a hand through his hair. “That son of a bitch.”

 

“You can say that again,” Sanghyuk mutters, not entirely under his breath.

 

“Hey,” Wonshik says, looking at him intently. “I don’t know what he thinks he’s doing, but I think – no, I know that it’s because he believes it’ll be good for you.”

 

“What? Like he’s doing me a favor?” Sanghyuk sneers. “Because I’m too incapable of getting my own auditions?”

 

Wonshik looks mildly affronted at that. “I didn’t start this company to hire people by word of mouth or good faith. You came to audition, didn’t you? He didn’t do that for you.”

 

Sanghyuk blinks. “I don’t think – he’s probably just trying to get rid of me.”

 

The look on Wonshik’s face softens considerably into something akin to sympathy. “I’ve known Jaehwan for years. I really don’t think he would go through all the trouble just to make you leave. If he dislikes you, he would say it to your face or be so unbearably mean that you’ll leave on your own.”

 

Logically, Sanghyuk knows it’s true. He still shakes his head at Wonshik. “But he – we’ve been—”

 

“How long have you been together?”

 

Sanghyuk jolts as if the question has physically shocked him. “We’re not – I mean, we’re just sleeping together,” he mumbles dimly. “Sometimes.”

 

Wonshik tilts his head curiously. “I told him we were looking for a new talent, like, three weeks ago. He mentioned you. He’d somehow gotten his hands on your past audition tapes and gave it to us. _That’s_ how you got this audition. But, man. The way he talked about you—”

 

Sanghyuk’s lips quirk. “Yeah, Jaehwan certainly has a way with words.”

 

Wonshik smiles. “I know flattery, Sanghyuk, and that wasn’t it. How he talked about you – you’re like all the good things that have ever happened to him rolled into one.”

 

Sanghyuk’s heart stutters, a tendril of _something_ unfurling in the pit of his stomach. He can feel himself falling, only he realizes it’s what he has been doing all this while.

 

“Listen,” Wonshik says, clasping his shoulder amicably. “You got the job. You’re mighty talented and have endless potential, kid. Talk to Jaehwan about this. Fuck, kick his ass for it. Kiss, make up, whatever. But know that you’re good and we want you on our team. Welcome to LR, Sanghyuk.”

 

It’s possibly too much fucking information to digest in the span of two minutes, so Sanghyuk takes his time, thanking Wonshik dazedly as he laughs and walks away. It is, without a doubt, a million light years away from his worst audition.

 

.

 

Sanghyuk punches in the passcode with fervor, not bothering to announce his arrival as he waltzes through the foyer and into the living room. Jaehwan’s blinking blearily at him from the couch, hair sticking up all over from his nap.

 

“Sanghyuk?” he mumbles. Sanghyuk’s whole resolve nearly crumbles at the soft way he says it. Pathetic. “What are you doing here? Isn’t today your audition?”

 

“Did you think I wouldn’t figure it out?” Sanghyuk snaps, looking everywhere but at the pink swell of Jaehwan’s lips. “Honestly, Jaehwan?”

 

Instead of asking what he means or denying it like a normal person, Jaehwan dodges everything and stares at him excitedly. “Did you get it?”

 

He looks like a puppy, ears erect and brown eyes round. “Fuck you, Jaehwan!” Sanghyuk yells. “You fucking set me up.”

 

“Uh, yeah?” Jaehwan frowns, kneeling on the couch so he doesn’t have to crane his neck. “Most people would thank me for that.”

 

Sanghyuk exhales harshly through his nose, squaring his shoulders. “I’m not some charity case. You didn’t have to do that.”

 

“No, I didn’t,” Jaehwan says matter-of-factly. “I wanted to. You want to be an actor, don’t you? You’re _good_ at it, Hyukie. You _should_ be an actor.”

 

Sanghyuk looks away, biting his lower lip. “But you don’t think I’m good enough to get it on my own.”

 

Jaehwan’s expression slides into a serious one. “I _know_ you’re good. It’s why I recommended you. Everybody needs help sometime, Sanghyuk. It doesn’t make you any less worthy.”

 

“That’s rich, coming from you. You’re the least modest person I know. You don’t need anyone, do you?”

 

There’s a hint of hurt now, in Jaehwan’s dark eyes, and it surprises Sanghyuk how much it pains him to see. “But I do need you. I need you to be with me.”

 

It’s more confession than Sanghyuk’s even imagined of getting, but his guard stays up. “So, what? If you’re dating, it can only be actors, is that what you mean?”

 

Jaehwan tugs him down to his level, Sanghyuk kneeling between his legs, eyes locked together. “It can only be _you_ , you dummy,” he says, with the tone he only reserves for incompetent people who try to manage his life but fail. Sanghyuk would take offense if it isn’t for the gentle adoration in his gaze. “Wake up and smell my burning heart, why don’t you?”

 

That startles a laugh out of Sanghyuk, Jaehwan’s flair for dramatics making his heart swell even more with affection. 

 

“Did you get it or not?” Jaehwan asks, almost whining.

 

Sanghyuk’s smile is uncontrollable – he’s so _infatuated_ and Jaehwan wants him, too, and everything’s perfect in this moment. He nods, and Jaehwan’s face brightens up instantly, wrapping his arms around Sanghyuk’s neck and squeezing him in a tight hug. “Did you doubt that I would?”

 

Jaehwan pulls back just to press a kiss to his mouth, sweet and chaste, before grinning. “Never,” he murmurs, going back in to kiss him again and again, all over his face – his forehead, brows, cheeks, nose, chin – until it starts to tickle and Sanghyuk squirms, giggling helplessly.

 

Jaehwan releases him, finally, and Sanghyuk’s breath catches a little at the way he’s being stared at. “What do you have in mind for a thank you?” he asks shyly, cheeks burning.

 

Jaehwan gives him a rakish grin, one that makes heat pool immediately in Sanghyuk’s stomach. He yelps when Jaehwan throws himself back onto the couch and yanks Sanghyuk down with him, holding Sanghyuk’s face against his neck. He hums, almost purring, when Sanghyuk doesn’t move away, thighs bracketing Sanghyuk’s hips, and of all the things Sanghyuk expects to learn about Jaehwan, being an avid fan of snuggles isn’t one of them. Yet, they stay cuddled for long minutes, the only movements being Jaehwan pressing kisses against the crown of his head and stroking his back. Sanghyuk relaxes after a while, melting into the embrace, savoring the steady rise and fall of Jaehwan’s chest, the seamless way their bodies fit together.

 

“Hakyeon knows,” he says, finally, breaking the comfortable silence.

 

Jaehwan barely even moves. “Of course he does,” Jaehwan mumbles, fingers now toying with the hair on the back of Sanghyuk’s head. “Now we just have to tell the PR people.”

 

Sanghyuk jerks upright, staring into Jaehwan’s completely calm face. “What?”

 

“We don’t exactly have to announce anything just yet, but if news breaks out they should be ready,” Jaehwan explains nonchalantly, a smirk tugging at his lips when Sanghyuk keeps on looking baffled. “Why? Do you wish to remain each other’s dirty little secrets?”

 

Sanghyuk blinks, unable to wrap his head around what’s been asked or what’s really happening, other than the genuine vulnerability in Jaehwan’s eyes. “No,” he says in the end, brows furrowing. “I just – didn’t think—”

 

“I want to be with you,” Jaehwan says without missing a beat. “Like, exclusively. Possibly forever,” he mumbles the last part, almost coyly. “Are you – you okay with that?”

 

Sanghyuk leaps, knowing full well that somebody’s waiting to catch him this time. “Yeah,” he says, smiling. “Definitely.”

 

“What about right now?” Jaehwan asks, thumbs rubbing the spur of Sanghyuk’s hipbones, unhurried and affectionate. “What do you want?”

 

Sanghyuk inhales deeply, then bows forward to burrow into Jaehwan’s chest again. “I want to stay like this for a while.”

 

Jaehwan chuckles, the wonderful rumble of it resonating through Sanghyuk. “Good,” he hums, rubbing the small of Sanghyuk’s back. “Me too.”

 

If anyone asks, Sanghyuk will say that Jaehwan is a complex man. He’s nearly impossible to decipher, even when he allows you a peek into himself, but it also means he’s full of incredible surprises, just waiting to be discovered – and that’s just the way Sanghyuk loves him.

**Author's Note:**

> » title taken from james morrison’s ‘you give me something’


End file.
